When I first got interested in missions his biography was one of my first reads. I was so inspired by his courage and determination. He saw a need and heard the call to be the solution and overcame overwhelming obstacles. He paved the way for modern missions in regards to funding, Bible translation, and language learning. He truly is the Father of modern missions.
The interesting thing about Carey is what the biographies didn’t mention…about his family. When Carey felt led to go India his wife didn’t share the calling. In fact she begged to stay in England…in order to have their fourth baby while near family. Carey choose to move ahead and several times went and boarded a boat headed for India…without his wife and three kids. In the end God wouldn’t allow him to leave without his family….and she relented and went with him. She never adapted to life in India. Within a few years she went totally insane often seen screaming and running wildly around the house. She was so out of touch that she even tried to kill Carey with a knife. She spent her last few years confined to her room, living out her last days alone and in emotional distress. She wasn’t the only casualty…his sons reportedly were all but ignored…and when he remarried a few years later his new wife found the children unkept, uneducated and ignored.
So here’s our Father of modern missions. Ready to leave his wife and family behind for the ministry. Pursuing his dream while ignoring the help-mate God have him. He brought alot of good changes to missions…and his impact is still felt today. Does the end justify the means? Did he choose wisely?
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I have often wondered about things like that. I have also wondered about their methodology/strategy/contextualization. I hear about many of them going over for years and years without results. I admire their perseverance, but I wonder if they could have seen different results with different methods…
That’s a toughie!
And hi, nice to talk to you for the first time, Grady. Had lunch this wknd with AlmostAnM and he put me onto you.
I think upon reflection we’d have to conclude two things:
1) Carey made the wrong decision. His first responsibility was to provide for his family.
2) God used that wrong decision for good in many ways, b/c He is amazing and awesome and does that kind of thing all the time. May He be praised.
I had a similar situation come up some yrs back, actually, and returned to the States. Hardest decision I’ve ever made. Carey’s would have been yet more gut-wrenching (by a long shot) but his responsibility was the same.
I learned about this in seminary. Carey’s first convert did not come until Adoriam Judson arrived, if I remember correctly. What does that tell us? I think that community is esential, even in relation to mission – perhaps especially so. The Celtic model seems to be more biblical than what Carey showed us and we must question if his approach was not steeped in the emerging Enlightenment individualism of his day. Carey did great things, no doubt, but was he totally walking in God’s will? I don’t think so, and it is important for us to make that distinction while we are also inspired by his good works.
It’s great to think about the implications of someone else’s life and to have an opinion, but really shouldn’t some of the commenters here consider what scripture has to say?
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2014:25-34&version=ESV I would be the first to say that I don’t believe we should seek out harm to any of our family because that’s not what Jesus was saying here. But to say Carey’s actions are wrong simply isn’t biblical, nor our place to judge. “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” – Luke 14:26
“. . . Was he totally walking in God’s will?” Uh . . . God’s will can’t be thwarted (Job 42:2). Was it really that his “strategy” wasn’t correct? Read the bible.
I think to judge Carey’s actions and/or the indirect results of following Christ to the missions field flows far too easily from our western-minded, self-centered notion of Christianity that calls all to comfort instead of to Christ. If you aren’t willing to joyfully sacrifice what Carey and countless others have sacrificed, then you MAY not be a follower of Christ. That includes putting your family in harms way.
READ the Bible!
Toddimus, that is the most unhinged comment I’ve heard yet. “God’s will can’t be thwarted.” I agree, no it can’t but you’re making a mistake of equating God’s sovereign will for the nations with some quasi-will for William Carey’s life. They aren’t the same. Yes God’s will is to preach salvation among the nations but this does not trump God’s will and desire for the home, modeled and imaged by Christ’s relationship to the church. (Ephesians 5:32)
There are too many verses that state otherwise:
“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8 (Context is widows but the principle remains)
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:25-28 (As a Christian husband, was William loving his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her by dragging her against her will to India to subsequently go insane and to neglect his children?)
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 (Were William’s children exasperate? Not sure, but it sounded like it)
As for judging William’s behavior we have EVERY right to make the call that something is of Christ or not. (see 1 Corinthians 5:12-13) Yes, William Carey might have been used by God to accomplish much (Romans 8:28) and I have no doubt of his love for Jesus, but pursuing overseas missions in India to the destruction of his wife and family is something that I have no hesitation in rejecting.
Whether you believe he was right or wrong in his choice, what it really points out is that we don’t take spiritual warfare seriously, nor do we really recognise the cost of missions. Satan will get to people however he can, even if it’s through their immediate family. I’ve seen the fallout too many times in my field from one of the family members (yes, usually the wife but not always) just not being on board, even freaking out much in the same way Carey’s wife is described.
So here’s the question: do we pray for the family members in the field of the missionary as much as we pray for the missionary himself? Do we try to keep contact with them, or ask about them, too? Do we recognise the sacrifice they’re also making due to their missionary family member? And do sending churches or mission agencies do anything (before the missionary enters the field) to prepare/warn immediate family members about such issues or how to deal with it?
The fact that biographies conveniently leave out this disconcerting detail shows that we (Christians) are still presenting missions and the missionary as some sort of super-spiritual perfect being with a well-adjusted, adoring family and no problems (except those pesky nationals resisting the Gospel). If we show missions, warts and all, we may have fewer missionaries coming forward, yet I believe the few would be better equipped to handle or expect difficulties and be able to continue on.
I think that some great points have been made, and I’m coming late to this argument (discussion?), but here is the fact: No one in England, or anywhere else, was willing to budge in Carey’s day. No one cared about the lost in the world. Yes, it sucks that his wife died, but hopefully she trusted God and we hope so as her mind went downhill. She was a martyr for the cause…a cause she didn’t agree with (which is to her shame, to be honest). Carey had no choice but to go alone. No one else would go.
He made mistakes. So do I. It is sad that he lacked regard for his family. But he was one of the only ones to care about the lost. Learn from his grave error and his good works and move forward.
Well said both Dan and C. I have seen the fall out first hand because I nearly did what William did to his wife. I turned a blind eye to my wife’s suffering “all for the sake of the Gospel.” In reality I was being selfish and not loving her as Christ loved the church. I’ve learned from my mistakes and backed out of our ministry effort with grace and humility explaining to our congregation that I needed to protect my wife first. They graciously understood.
It’s 2 years later and we’re preparing for overseas ministry again, as a team, and focused on the same goal. She’s healthy, we’re both joyful, and God is being honored in our marriage and ministry. I still hold to my original comments…as husbands we have a solemn responsibility to our wives and children that shouldn’t be disregarded.
C. to your questions…I think there remains a unanswered stigma placed on the missionary. He is a superhero who can do no wrong. Because of this we don’t pray enough for the wives and unfortunately, place them under immense pressure to conform to the mission.
“So here’s the question: do we pray for the family members in the field of the missionary as much as we pray for the missionary himself?”
I think therein lies part of the problem. If married, both husband and wife are (or should be) considered missionaries. I cringe whenever I hear words such as “let’s pray for the missionaries and their wives.”
I think C. has the best approach to this issue. God has given us the technological means (communications, travel, etc.) to reduce the amount of isolation that a missionary family must experience. There is no doubt that sacrifice and isolation are, to some extent, unavoidable on most foreign mission fields. However, are we utilizing the means we have been given (prayer being the greatest) to maintain a productive connection with those we have sent to minister in foreign lands?
I believe that Carey definitely could have handled things differently. I am currently in the process of preparing my wife for an isolated field. She is very aware of what the Carey’s experienced and wishes to avoid it. However, what this story ought to bring to the minds of those of us who are still back home is a picture of what our missionaries may be experiencing right now. Are you using what God has provided to help them? We have that opportunity now as never before. Do they know you pray? Do they know you care? What sacrifices are you willing to make in order to help your missionaries avoid similar circumstances? The missionary husband yet has the primary responsibility to provide for his wife. But now more than ever, the burden for the care of the missionary family and for their ministry has shifted. Surely, more (though not all) of it now resides upon those who send them. We know the dangers, we have the resources, let’s do something about it.
Debtor Paul – you say that you are preparing your wife for an isolated field. I hope that she has her own individual call to missionary service.
Toddimus quoted:
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” – Luke 14:26
I have seen this scripture so misquoted over the years. We don’t see Jesus ever contradicting the scriptures such as the scriptures quoted by Kevin.
Jesus didn’t say hate them but their “lives” meaning our own ways not to go around hating others and dumping them.
What would it prove to go and show how to be the Love of Christ and to neglect our own family?
C Holland said:
“The fact that biographies conveniently leave out this disconcerting detail shows that we (Christians) are still presenting missions and the missionary as some sort of super-spiritual perfect being with a well-adjusted, adoring family and no problems (except those pesky nationals resisting the Gospel). If we show missions, warts and all, we may have fewer missionaries coming forward, yet I believe the few would be better equipped to handle or expect difficulties and be able to continue on.”
Isn’t God Great since He left all of the “warts and all” in His Word.
This is what happens when we show half of the story.
It’s not only real to think we have a “calling” in the “World” whether next door or across the seas, but that we are to take care of our wife, children and in some cases our parents, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, neighbors etc…
So whether you go to a foreign nation or not…there is not one soul less valuable than another.
Let your nets down for a catch.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Love your wife.
Love your children.
Love the Lord God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
How would you like to have someone drag you to a place you do not want to go?
What would it profit a man to gain the whole “Christian” world and loose His own soul? (or cause one of these little ones “wife or children” to fall and rebel against God.)?
Super-Hero evangelism/Missions can be self-fulfilling but is God at the center of self?
Thank you for the subject…we all need to keep our eyes on the Lord’s Will not “our” desires: No matter how holy they appear.
If we think WE are the only ones who God will send TODAY then please read where Elijah though HE was the only profit of God left.
Yes we must GO into all the world and preach the gospel and disciple the nations, but God doesn’t say dump and go.
Yes, Ugunda needs to know Christ and His love but so does the 4 year old in your own house and his/her children yet to be born.
I am not judging…I am learning ministry is not just what I “thought” it was…it’s what God says it is “EVERY DAY”.
God Bless you and yours for we are all HIS.
Here are some additional thoughts on this same subject:
http://www.sbcimpact.net/2008/01/03/missions-and-family/
It’s sad because so many famous believers seem to have had “unsupportive” wives. John Wesley comes to mind. The call of God comes to a person separate to their character, choices and understanding. Someone can feel the call to serve, but out of a lack of understanding go and marry the wrong person. Or marry the right person, but not know how to handle a situation so that it brings his/her whole family into the right place. We all need God’s grace.
I wrote a paper on just this subject when I was in grad school at Moody. My conclusion was that Carry’s decision making was short-sighted. My prof thought I was a bit too judgmental, especially considering the time.
I read and talk about this paper here:
http://ontherhoads.org/podcast/?p=6
There’s also a link to the paper itself.
I don’t think we can or even should judge Carey. It’s a difficult issue and I suppose it’s one that each of us has to grapple with in different way, depending on our circumstances. If the Lord calls us, there is likely to be a price to pay. We may count the cost but not realise it fully until the situation unfolds. Who knows if his wife would have been any better off in they had stayed in England? How do we know she did not have an underlying mental health problem that would have manifested one place or the other? We don’t. So I think we’re better sticking with praying about our own decisions and the impact on our loved ones, as well as our calling for the Lord, than worrying about other people. (written by a wife!)
Thanks to all of you for responding. Whether or not we think we have the right to judge Carey…we do have the right to learn from it. Several things stick out to me….
First…Christian biographers and teachers leave out the whole story about Carey. It appears that they so desperately want to portray him as a missionary saint that telling the whole truth gets left out.
Second…His decision forces us to grapple with our own issues. What if we’re on the field and my wife hates it? According to Carey and some of the commenters I should force her to stay…or send her packing to the US and live out the life of a missionary on the field separated from my wife. While this example is extreme, I see alot of this on the field. The men are living their dream while the women are living their nightmare.
Alot to think about…
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